Q: My fiance’s parents don’t seem to realize that they are supposed to host the rehearsal dinner.  We certainly can’t afford a big party with all our out of town guests, and my parents are maxed out on the wedding. What can we do?

A: The two of you need to decide whether you want to broach the subject with his parents or just proceed without them.  While you would not want to offend them by making them feel obligated to do something they perhaps cannot afford,  you risk offending them by leaving them out.  Your fiance’ might start a conversation with them something like, “If we’re going to have a rehearsal dinner, we’ll need to start soon. Did you have any thoughts about it?”  In order to ensure that they are comfortable enough to speak freely, this conversation is best had without you present.  If they will not be hosting, perhaps you can have a small and simple dinner with just immediate family, wedding party, officiant, and spouses or significant others.

Occasionally,

Jill

By Cindy Post Senning

At first people do expect us to have perfect manners – whatever that is! If one of us picks up the wrong utensil, everyone at the table gets a big kick out of it. They are not laughing at us. They are just recognizing that we really are human and approachable. Everyone makes mistakes, even manners writers.

The thing we worry about is that others think they have to be perfect because they are out to dinner with us and we must be judging them all the time. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Actually, our goal is to put others at ease so they can enjoy their meal and our company. Now that is really what good manners are about and that is what we try to do with perfection (even though we do still miss the boat sometimes).